Loser

ktadmin Posted in A Zen Thing, Quotes, State of Mind,Tags: , , ,
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I realized today that I am a loser.  It struck me just like that, no doubts just a sudden clear understanding that I was a loser.  Oh I could make a million excuses for being a loser, they would make logical sense, but it wouldn’t change the fact, I am a loser.  Now that I know this I can see it in the way I walk, the way I carry myself, the way I compensate in so many ways.  But I wasn’t always a loser.  So why now?  Well if I wasn’t a loser I could probably tell you, or better yet write a book and become a rich non-loser!  Hmmm…  Seriously though, I think my loser state has to do with not taking any chances.  Somehow I have become frozen like the proverbial deer in the headlights.  When faced with a decision I choose…indecision.  I think it is for fear of being wrong.  Like I said I can think of a lot of reasons for this but they all sound like excuses, which of course is what losers do…  I guess I need to stop making excuses and start believing in myself and taking some chances.  I know writing this that, that is a long way from happening… They say the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one…Maybe that is enough for today…

— Anonymous

The above got me to thinking about my own life, about how caught up we get in daily stress and minutia.  So much so that we kind of stagnate, I think I like that term better than loser.  Stagnate: To cease motion, activity, or progress; to cease to advance or change; to become idle or cease to flow.  I think that is what life does to us if we let it and sometimes even if we try not to let it.  It is important to remember also that success can be defined in so many ways, not knowing the reference point of the above writer makes it difficult to gauge the depth of their ‘loser-ness’.  I think many of us place goals that are to difficult to achieve, we set ourselves up for failure.  I am not advocating “settling” or having an ‘this is as good as it gets’ mentality!  But similar to setting a New Years resolution you have to set realistic goals you can achieve.  I think that is where success comes from, setting achievable goals that move you towards some much bigger goal.  It is easy to get lost along the way, to stall in your efforts, to stagnate.  It is easy to rely on excuses to keep yourself in a state of stagnation.  The easy way out, is to feel like a loser, that is the path of a quiter, not a loser.  I think becoming a loser comes from quiting once to often.

So what about you?  Have you given up on your goals because they are to hard or there are to many available excuses?  Where you to busy or tired to workout this week?  I know, you’ll start next week or someday.  Someday. That’s a dangerous word. It’s really just a code for ‘never‘.” [source: Knight and Day].  It is never to late to change but that change has to start some where…some time.  Don’t stagnate, take a chance, move forward, small goal by small goal…

Am I off base or full of it?  Let me know in the comments section!

Loves Bonds Broken

ktadmin Posted in A Zen Thing, Quotes,Tags: ,
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Love such a despised word
Shush before you are heard.
Its a great verb!
much better than any herb
So why the apprehension;
to relieve your emotional tension?
Don’t say admire or like you much,
for stifling to the soul are such.
For the sun never shined so bright,
As when relieved of this plight.
To speak as you feel,
is such a great deal,
Why do you say no?
Can’t you see I love you so?
But I do!
And I must let it show!
For to hide it,
not confide it,
would be to my soul, bait
and turn is slowly to hate.
So speak and feel great,
Don’t let it stagnate.
I love you so,
And I had to let you know.
Accept it or deny
My heart is now free to fly!

— Mitchell Saba

Meditation Point #130 – Less Self, Selfless

ktadmin Posted in A Zen Thing, Quotes,Tags: ,
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He who stands on his tiptoes does not stand firm;
He who stretches his legs does not walk easily.
So, he who displays himself does not shine;
He who asserts his own views is not distinguished;
He who exalts himself does not find merits acknowledged;
He who is self-conceited has no superiority allowed to him.
Such conditions, viewed from the standpoint of the Tao,
are like remnants of food or a tumor on the body, which all dislike.
Hence those who pursue the course of the Tao do not adopt and allow them.

— Tao-Te-Ching

This passage seemed rather pertinent as I am currently teaching my students the finer points of free sparring.  What?!  I know many will wonder how this passage could relate to sparring.  The first two lines seem obvious enough, Stance!  The 4th through 6th lines are slightly more obscure.  This is a deeper level, it deals with ego and honesty.  When sparring we need to spend as much energy watching our own vulnerabilities and we do looking for them in our opponent.  We must be honest in assessing our performance.  Ego has no place in sparring, honesty must come first if we are to improve our skills.  Additionally, no one likes a braggart.  Hopefully that make sense and you will gain some new insights of your training.

There are many levels to this passage so I urge you to read this multiple times.

Meditation Point #129 – External Needs

ktadmin Posted in A Zen Thing
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Water does not wash water.
Gold is not changed for gold.

T’EN-T’UNG

No matter how perfect we become we can not live in isolation.  We need other people or our development becomes retarded through stagnation leading to narrow-mindedness which is the path away from enlightenment.  The same can happen to those who only associate with like minded people.  Broadening your hoizons is important but there is a danger in ‘broadening’ our experiences.  When we are exposed to different perspectives, opinions and world-views we will be exposed to many truths, non-truths, and misconceptions.  When we do not fully understand our own thinking or how to discern the Truth we are in peril of following the opposite or some shade of the Truth.  This is the process of enlightenment, of understanding.  Unfortunately we stop the search and settle in our misconceptions and half-truths forever lost from the Truth, understanding and enlightenment.

Thought for the day…

ktadmin Posted in A Zen Thing, State of Mind,Tags: ,
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bonsai-tree-1aspac-wp-3-1024x742

Why mess with perfection…

Meditation Point #128 – Success

ktadmin Posted in A Zen Thing, Quotes, State of Mind
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Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.” — Reggie Leach

Reginald Joseph Leach (born April 23, 1950 in Riverton, Manitoba, Canada) is a retired professional ice hockey winger who played in the NHL between 1970 and 1983.

To often we wait for success to come to us.  We feel it is out of reach or that the success of others is based largely on luck.  We make excuses for our state in life or why we haven’t attained our goals, our dreams.  If you have ever done that, you are a loser.  I say that as a fellow loser who has made more than his fair share of excuses and who probably will make more in the future.  Regardless loser’s we are.  Of course there are legitimate excuses in life but they only go so far before they become crutches.  Everyone has tunnel vision when it comes to their own life and no one likes to admit they are the problem.  If you want to break this loser cycle you need to be a little harder on yourself, not abusive but instructor hard or drill Sargent hard!  Basically you have to stop making excuses, stop feeling sorry for yourself or inadequate and start trying your best and being happy with that.  If you do this everyday, every minute of every day then you will always be successful, for even in your failures you will grow and learn.

Only through hard work does success come, to bad we like to make excuses.  I just watched “The Cowboys” with John Wayne, there is a scene where a kid who stutters is trying to tell John Wayne his friend is drowning.  The drowning friend is saved.  But what happens next would make most people call Child Services and coddle the young stutterer, John Wayne belittles and humiliates him in front of his friends telling him he almost got his friend killed and asking why he didn’t speak up.  Of course the boy tries to explain he can’t help his stutter, Wayne doesn’t let him off the hook, but makes the point, if that had been him the the water he would of yelled loud and clear.  The kid gets so upset he swears a litany with nary a stutter.  He’s cured from that point forward.  My point isn’t that we should pick on people but we should hold them to a higher standard.  There is nothing wrong with expecting boys to become men when necessity calls.  There is also nothing wrong with telling someone they don’t measure up and that they can’t do activity X just because it would be construed as mean or discriminatory.

We all need someone like Wayne to put things in perspective for us, to make us mad enough to prove them wrong and in the process accomplish what we thought impossible.  Unfortunately those men (and women) are far and few between and will remain that way until we start to hold ourselves to a higher standard.  Expect success regardless of the outcome, meaning if you can look yourself in the eye and say I did my best, with no “if only’s” then you are doing well.  Expect more of yourself but never abuse yourself.

So what are you waiting for, go seek success it won’t come looking for you and it will never happen spontaneously!

Never Compromise

ktadmin Posted in A Zen Thing, Quotes, State of Mind
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In her book, entitled Capitalism: the Unknown Ideal, Ayn Rand wrote, “In any collaboration between two men (or two groups) who hold different basic principles, it is the more evil or irrational one who wins.” In a compromise between life and death, freedom and slavery, good and evil, only the latter group can win. [Source]

I’ve been thinking about this topic for some time but when I saw the above passage the topic crystallized for me.  We live in a world of constant compromise.  Compromise is an important part of life as it helps us deal with others but is there such a thing as to much compromise?  Of course.  Compromising about what is for dinner or where we go on vacation are normal compromises.  But what happens when a situation or person requires you to compromise on your basic principles?

Hopefully you have formed basic principles before being asked to compromise it, though my experience has been, that most people do not form their principles until faced with a situation.  This of course usually leads to the path of least resistance where people end up standing on and defending principles or beliefs they have never truly contemplated.  They defend these positions militantly as to do otherwise would mean they were somehow wrong.  People avoid dealing with the uncomfortable which is the tool most employed by those seeking a compromise!  Discomfort is the primary tool of peer-pressure one of the most dangerous forms of compromise.  Peer-pressure usually moves a child or teen or even adult to act against the basic principles (or morals) of their families.

As a martial artist it is important that we introspect and determine who we are and what we stand for, only then can we stand with a quiet mind in the face of adversity.  As martial arts instructors we must help our students see that compromise of basic principles without serious consideration is a negative for it often leads to the wrong path.  Basically we want our youth to stand on a strong foundation so when faced with choice they are certain of what is the right path.  Someone once said, “Everyone knows what is right from what is wrong”  the problem is doing what is right is hard it is much easier to lie to ourselves or blame others for our choices.

There is nothing wrong with understanding your beliefs and principles and standing by them, in fact that is a quality to be admired.  One must also make sure their understanding is based on a solid foundation.  To often our youth choose the wrong path in life, whether it is drugs, promiscuity or delinquent behavior, simply because no one has helped them understand their actions, or even served as a proper role model.  The hardest part to teach is that often standing on your principles and against compromise is never easy, popular or outwardly rewarding.  But there is something to be said for leaving a room with your chin up knowing you faced compromise in the eyes and held your ground.  Remember you no one wants to be caught in a compromising situation!

Meditation Point #127

ktadmin Posted in A Zen Thing, Quotes
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All that we are is the result of what we have thought.  The mind is everything.  What we think we become.” — Buddha

I am no Buddhist, to the contrary I am a Christian but this quote resonates within me.  Those that question this quote should think about the life of Helen Keller since her existence was almost entirely restricted to her inner space, her mind.  In reflecting on this quote you need to ask yourself, what do you think about?

I’ll leave you with this additional thought, every year, every 365 days we have an entirely new body.  It is true in the process of one year ever cell in your body dies and is replaced.  If our bodies are as dynamic as I think perhaps our thoughts can help to influence the outcome…

Think deep thoughts, employ critical thinking and seek the Truth…

One Last Kiss?

ktadmin Posted in A Zen Thing, OffTopic
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What if today was it?
Would I be content?
Would I have sorrow and regret in my heart?
Or would I feel content and happy?
Have I done my best?
Could I have done more?
What was our last kiss like?

Yes, my life revolves around your kiss.
Your kisses can make me soar to new heights
I feel your love and passion in your kiss
I feel your disappointment and disdain too
It isn’t a one sided thing, no, no.
Sometimes we forget that this could be the last kiss.
Sometimes we let petty things bind our lips.
Too often we just take them for granted.
Light my soul and send me on my way
Prepare me for a new day and help me soar away
Give me a memory I can never forget
Because this could be our one last kiss…

— Sensei Mitch S.

Amazing Cloud

Happy Valentine’s Day

I Asked GOD…

ktadmin Posted in A Zen Thing, Religion,Tags:
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I asked God to take away my pain. God said, No. It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. God said, No. Her spirit was whole, her body was only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience. God said, No. Patience is a by-product of tribulations. It isn’t granted, it is earned.

I asked God to give me happiness. God said, No. I give you blessings. Happiness is up to you.

I asked God to spare me pain. God said, No. Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow. God said, No. You must grow on your own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. God said, No. I will give you life so that you may enjoy all things.

I ask God to help me LOVE others, as much as he loves me. God said, Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.