Husband Abuse

Sensei Post in Self-Defense

This article is not intended to ignore, water-down or otherwise detract from the abuse of women. The purpose of this article is to address a topic not discussed openly. It is the minority of abuse cases however most incidents go unreported for the same reasons that wife abuse went unreported years ago. The reasons are varied but I think we will all agree they are flawed as no one should stay in an abusive relationship. When you stay in an abusive relationship you have to roles, the victim and the enabler. No we must recognize that not all victims are in a position (or think they are not) to leave immediately. These victims should be aware of the resources and support groups available to them. Because when we do not leave you put yourself, your children, your friends basically everyone at risk of physical harm or death. With that being said let’s look at this no so unusual but rarely reported case of husband abuse.
Mr. Tay Joo Meng, 35, holds a black belt in Taekwando but whenever his wife attacked him, he was meek as a lamb. For the past three years Mr. Tay Joo Meng was treated like a punching bag. He was screamed at and physically assaulted in his own home by his wife. Once, his wife, 27 year old, Chaifu Charin, hit him so hard on the head that he lost his hearing in one ear permanently. Still, he suffered in silence. He said it was because he loved his wife. Last year on Nov. 6th she went to far, not with her husband but for the police to ignore. On that evening the 27-year-old Thai, Chaifu Charin, staggered home drunk at 3 AM. Mr Tay helped her into the bedroom of their four-room flat in Jurong West. For no apparent reason, Charin lashed out at Mr Tay, punching and kicking him.
Charin then ran into the kitchen, grabbed a knife and charged towards him cutting him slightly across the abdomen. Still hysterical, Charin ran into the living room, picked up two of her husband’s bowling balls and flung them out of the balcony of their 11th-storey flat. For injuring Mr Tay and putting the lives of others at risk, Charin was sentenced to three months in jail on Wednesday.
Despite all this and more Mr Tay maintains that he still loves his wife deeply and will wait for her release. He has forgiven her, but harbours fears that she will blame him for landing her in jail. ‘I don’t regret marrying her,’ he said. ‘I am just sad that I couldn’t help her with her problems.’ And so he waits with their 3 year old daughter for his abusive wife’s release, despite his fears.
We fear his life will return to the same, more importantly we worry about the life of his daughter. Please post comments about this story or domestic abuse in general.

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